


Feels like First

by casey_sms (shinygreenwords), shinygreenwords



Category: The Social Network
Genre: Angst, Community:tsn_kinkmeme, M/M, Multi, Non-Explicit Sex, Other, Romance, Substitution, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-01-13
Updated: 2011-01-13
Packaged: 2017-10-14 17:59:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/151951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shinygreenwords/pseuds/casey_sms, https://archiveofourown.org/users/shinygreenwords/pseuds/shinygreenwords
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><em>Both of them understand math and algorithm and in that sense, it’s very simple. The problem is that there were, are, too many variables (too many ways to go wrong). Substitution of unknown variables with real numbers provides the solution.</em></p><p>For <a href="http://community.livejournal.com/tsn_kinkmeme/390.html?thread=101254#t101254">this prompt</a> at <a href="http://community.livejournal.com/tsn_kinkmeme/profile"><img/></a><a href="http://community.livejournal.com/tsn_kinkmeme/"><b>tsn_kinkmeme</b></a> requesting "Divya and Eduardo get <s>left behind</s> each other."<br/></p>
            </blockquote>





	Feels like First

**Author's Note:**

> **Warning/Kinks:** Substitution (I don't know what else to call it but it's one of my [fave kinks](http://www.delicious.com/casey_sms/substitution)), unrequited love.
> 
> Believe it or not, the title is a reference to 'Bring It On' xD This ended up much less dark and twisted and it surprised me that I'm okay with that.

Eduardo kisses Divya, hot and hungry. Divya is small, smaller than him anyway and it reminds him of someone else. The suits and the tie remind him that it’s not but Divya yields to him, pliant and willing and Eduardo can’t, doesn’t want to say no.

Divya delves his tongue into Eduardo, letting them tangle into a fight for the upper hand. Eduardo has his hand wrapped around Divya’s tie, pulling slightly. This is why he likes guys. Strength. There is something humbling about a person who is able to flip you and hold you down and _take_ but they don’t. The difference between what could be and what is – it’s why they are here.

Eduardo’s height, towering over him, reminds him of someone else. Two someones. Two identical someones that could be one. It’s confusing and complicated. When Divya wraps his hand around Eduardo’s waist, he knows that he’s too skinny, his forearms lack the rippling bands of muscles and his shoulders too narrow and fragile. But it doesn’t matter because Eduardo, smooth planes and gentlemanly, he understands. Eduardo knows what it is like to have won the settlement and to wish that the lawsuits were still going on, if only because they are starved for contact. It doesn’t matter if you are on the same side or different sides of the table, so close is still so far.

Eduardo is generous. He tears Divya’s clothes the way he likes it and Divya returns the favor by not tearing his. They say love is at least half fantasy, well, this is a mutually beneficial agreement. Both of them understand math and algorithm and in that sense, it’s very simple. The problem is that there were, are, too many variables (too many ways to go wrong). Substitution of unknown variables with real numbers provides the solution. Divya does not have half the intelligence of the man Eduardo wants but it’s fair to say that Eduardo is only half of the equation he desires. Two halves make a whole. (If either knows that the other only has half a heart left to give if that much at all, both of them keep their silence. It maintains the illusion and it makes everything hurt a little less.)

Divya is careful when he says “I need you” and Eduardo returns the favor by turning to him like he has the answers. The smaller man is surprised that it’s so easy to find the answers when it’s Eduardo. It’s not hard to tell Eduardo that he’s not worthless, that he’ll never leave him and that he’s here for him. Because he _is_. When Eduardo rewards him with a blinding smile, it’s easy to tell him he’s beautiful because it doesn’t matter if the smile isn’t for him entirely, he’s smiling at Divya and Divya is the one that gets to see it.

They take turns, partially re-enacting fantasies wrought with frustration and, more often than not now, writing new ones between them. An algorithm that works for them. Eduardo pushes and Divya pulls and they’re there. When they come, if they both close their eyes and a face appears to them, another name dying on their lips, they don’t shy from it. They surge forward, meeting halfway, kissing roughly, hands tugging at each other’s hair. The pain is pleasure, left and right of the equal sign which signals the solution.

Afterwards, they lie in bed, sated, sweat cooling on their bodies. They look down and smile when they see their hands laced together, their tan skin matching, seamless.


End file.
